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No matter what happens or how strange and unfamiliar the world becomes, you can always visit your friends at the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch. There’s a reason no one can seem to stop marathoning this show, as it takes them back to simpler times. The business world may be working remote more often than not these days, but knowing the character from The Office that matches each zodiac sign might make you feel nostalgic for the camaraderie of seeing your fellow employees in person.
Of course, the shenanigans that always take place under the watch of regional manager Michael Scott prove that working in an office environment can actually be more distracting than you’d expect! Between the movie days, the field trips and the constant break room meetings, you have to wonder whether the employees of the Scranton branch ever have time to get their tasks done. Either way, the vivid array of weirdly lovable (and annoying) characters captures the office experience in a way that has resonated with generation after generation. And although Tobey’s list of company complaints may be ever-growing, there’s a reason this paper business never seems to truly go out of business.
If you’re missing your favorite comfort show and you’re interested in seeing where astrology and character-building intersect, look no further than the Dunder Mifflin/Sabre employee that matches each zodiac sign:
Zodiac Signs as Characters From The Office
Photo: NBC.
Surprised that everyone’s favorite soft-spoken receptionist is a driven and passionate Aries? You shouldn’t be! It’s actually a canonical fact that Pam’s birthday is March 25, making her an Aries through and through. However, Pam definitely displays many Aries traits, such as her constant effort to discover who she is and what she’s good at. She literally “invented” her own position as Office Manager of Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch and you have to concede that Pam refuses to give up. Like any Aries, she’s also willing to follow her gut and make rash and impulsive decisions, such as being the only one to take a chance on the Michael Scott Paper Company. Oh, and only an Aries would be so bold as to walk on hot coals and publicly confess their love for their coworker during a company field trip to the beach!
Photo: NBC.
Angela Martin, the stern and austere accountant of Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, is the most rigid employee on the entire team. Her stubbornness makes her a clear-cut Taurus and she makes a sport out of refusing to let sh*t go. She once admitted that she hasn’t spoken to her sister in sixteen years over a disagreement that she doesn’t even remember. You’re dreaming if you expect a Taurus to crack and be the first to reach out and apologize! However, Angela radiates Taurus energy in a way that extends behind her award-winning ability to hold a grudge. After all, Taurus is also ruled by Venus—planet of love and beauty—and Angela certainly thrives on party planning and affection. She’s always had her eye set on Dwight, her one true love, and her endless collection of high pedigree cats speaks for itself. She loves being loved so much that she enjoyed every minute of watching Andy and Dwight duel over her!
Photo: NBC.
One thing about Kelly Kapoor? The woman can talk! In fact, she talks about the same topics so incessantly that her colleagues literally make bets about how long they can keep her talking and how many romantic comedies she can mention in the same breath. If that isn’t Gemini, I don’t know what is! She can also dish a pretty sick burn, such as her famous “number 1, how dare you?” that she delivered to ex-lover-turned-boss Ryan Howard or the time she eloquently explained the difference between talking “trash” and talking “smack”, because trash talk is “hypothetical” smack talk is “happening, like, right now”. Oh, and only a Gemini customer service rep would entertain herself at work by talking to customers in a British accent. The truth is, she’s just really smart… like “you don’t even know”.
Photo: NBC.
Phyllis Vance is sweet, melancholy and eternally devoted to her status as wife to Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. She might be moody and kind of depressed at times, but the truth is, she’s living the dream of being so adored and protected by her knight in shining armor. Cancers are simply known for being moody, which explains her sensitive and introverted vibe. Although she might seem totally innocent—as most Cancers do—she’s got a “feisty” personality and a deep source of confidence. Let’s not forget the Cancerian moment in which Phyllis tells the camera “I wonder what people like about me… probably my jugs”. At the end of the day, Cancers are really just freaks in the sheets, and although Phyllis didn’t have an orgasm until she was 42, she said it lasted until she was 44 and she got nothing done at 43. Dang, girl.
Photo: NBC.
Leos are prideful, dramatic and glamorous, which captures everyone’s favorite corporate climber/candlemaker—the legendary Jan Levinson. She holds herself to a high standard and she might be a bit of a snob, but what Leo isn’t? She’s always attempting to project an image of drive and success, but the truth is, she’s just as much of a lazy and emotional wreck as the rest of us! One thing that’s true for every Leo is they love putting on a show. Between her performance as host of the dinner party that will forever be seared into our memories and her need to sing lullabies to her daughter Astrid in the middle of every public gathering, Jan has to be a Leo. The moment she shouted “and I’m a candlemaker but you don’t hear me bragging about it” when she was just bragging about it for the past hour was *peak* Leo!
Photo: NBC.
Let’s be honest—Oscar Martinez thinks he’s the smartest person in the room. And he kind of is, to be honest! His Virgo energy shines brightest when he’s correcting someone’s grammar or telling someone they’re wrong. You can always rely on Oscar to give it to you straight, even when it’s harsh criticism. He’s surrounded by coworkers who are either completely incompetent or flat-out ignorant. His judgmental Virgo vibe is just Oscar’s way of getting through it. However, the truth is, Virgos love drama just like the rest of us. Let’s harken back to the moment Oscar roasted Michael in piercing Spanish before letting the camera know that he already practices this speech everyday during the car ride home from work. Oh, and how about that time he egged Andy on to call Angela and ask her why she won’t “do” him. At the end of the day, Virgos can’t help but enjoy the hot gossip.
Photo: NBC.
How can you not love Jim Halpert? He has a level of charm, cleverness and compassion that could only be accomplished by a Libra. He’s also hella romantic, having had his eyes on the receptionist from the very first moment. Everyone knows a Libra who fell in love with someone who wasn’t ready, but they patiently waited anyway. It always pays off, because it’s often impossible to resist them. However, everyone also knows a Libra man who acts like Mr. Nice Guy, when in reality, they’re stirring the pot behind the scenes. Dwight Schrute nailed it perfectly when he sarcastically said: “Oh no, the new boss doesn’t find Jim adorable.” The vast majority of pranks and hijinks are continually masterminded by Jim, and yet, no one suspects a thing. The moment Jim refused to reach out and prevent Michael from falling in the coy fish pond, we all knew he was a Libra. They might love you; just not enough to risk being taken down with you!
Photo: NBC.
You know that paranoid bug-eyed look in Ryan’s face? That *screams* Scorpio. They’re always hyperaware of their surroundings and thinking two or three steps ahead of everyone else. This zodiac sign is both the detective and the criminal, as Scorpio is a strategist at heart. Of course the Scorpio of the show would be convicted of misleading the shareholders! Not only is this zodiac sign tied to financial risk-taking, it’s also connected to plotting against and enemy. And hasn’t Ryan truly been plotting against Dunder Mifflin from the start? The moment Ryan turned to the camera and said he was “keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me,” he solidified his status as a Scorpio. He maintains a cavalier and detached demeanor, but underneath that facade, Ryan is has quite the agenda and his list of plans, blueprints and grudges is ever-expanding.
Photo: NBC.
Only a Sagittarius would never get tired of bragging about going to Cornell. This mutable fire sign is not just ruled by Jupiter—planet of exaggerations—but it’s also associated with education and intellectual superiority. And if you think about it, Andy spends the entire show trying to be the best he can be, which consequently, makes him a classic teacher’s pet. However, Sagittarius individuals are also creative spitfires, as evidenced by his old a cappella group “Here Comes Treble” and his attachment to his banjo. Sagittarius people are unfailingly optimistic, which is another reason they have a tendency to bite off more than they can chew. Not only did he rush into an engagement with a coworker who clearly couldn’t stand him, he also spent the whole day prior to playing golf with a client practicing his stroke. Only a Sagittarius would shred their hands in an effort to get an A+.
Photo: NBC.
Looking for someone who is competitive and willing to do whatever it takes to make it to the top? Enter Dwight Schrute, the man who never fails to be the top salesperson at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch. Like every Capricorn, Dwight abides by his own sense of duty and decorum, shown in his commitment to being a volunteer sheriff and his dedication to keeping the office safe and in working order. In fact, he takes his job so seriously that he’s willing to trick his colleagues into thinking the building is on fire just to teach them about fire safety. What Capricorn doesn’t love assuming a role of power and exerting it against your will? Capricorns are also willing to play the long game and their patience allows them to come out victorious. Only a Capricorn would take the time to plant dozens of snowmen in front of the office just to get revenge against a co-worker that’s constantly pranking you. At the end of the day, Capricorns mean business!
Photo: NBC.
Some Aquarius individuals are social extroverts who thrive in team environments. However, there are also the Aquarius folk who want to be left completely alone, where they can sit on the outskirts and not be bothered. That’s Stanley to a T! Ruled by Saturn, Aquarius prefers to be far away from the drama, even if that makes them seem cold or aloof. Not only are they hard to get to know, Aquarians will purposefully place distance between you to maintain their independence. However, Aquarius is also famous for its eccentric sense of humor, as displayed by Stanley’s willingness to allow Ryan to “take the lead” on a sales pitch for a group of Black businessmen. He loved every minute of that laugh during the car ride home. Like every Aquarius, he’s also willing to laugh at himself, like the time he broke into tears after Michael roasted him for having a heart that “sucks”. Oh, I love a dark-humored Aquarius.
Photo: NBC.
The only zodiac sign that could capture Michael Scott’s winning combo of lovable and annoying would be Pisces. This sensitive and romantic water sign totally represents the way Michael is constantly yearning to be loved by everyone. Now only is he constantly striving for everyone’s approval and admiration, but he romanticizes his relationships and has a tendency to get too emotionally involved. Make no mistake—if a Pisces likes you, they will cling on tight! Although a Pisces heart may be big, it can balloon up to the point where it takes up the entire room. And when they get depressed, they think the world is out to get them and they are a victim without acknowledging the role they play in their own suffering. When Michael was singing “Runaway Train” while hiding in shipping cargo and fantasizing about escaping from his financial debt, everyone could tell he was a Pisces. At the end of the day, they care deeply about their flock, and of course a Pisces would be the only person with a genuinely nice thing to say about Pam’s art show.
Image: Unsplash, Adobe. Design: Sasha Purdy / StyleCaster