You have probably heard these terms: Fetish and fetishism… So, what is a fetish, what is fetishism? What are the types of fetishism? Is fetishism normal or perversion? This article seeks answers to these questions and focuses on the most curious ones. Let’s take a closer look at the subject of fetish and fetishism with Expert Psychological Counselor/Sexual Therapist Buket Bayındır:
1. What is fetish, what is fetishism?
First of all, what is a fetish, what is fetishism? Bayındır answers this question as follows: The origin of the word fetish is based on the name given to the objects that primitive tribes believed to have magical powers, considered lucky and worshiped. Later, it gained the meaning of “any object that is irrationally respected and gives sexual excitement”. The fetish in question here is not a person, but an object that represents the person. A fetish object represents a part of the person, an object related to the person, or symbolically. It represents an object or a situation that replaces the person. The main thing is that the part replaces the whole, that is, sexual attention is directed to a part of the body or an object of the partner.
So, what is fetishism? Fetishism is a state of recurrent, highly sexually aroused use of non-living (inanimate) objects or an extremely specific focus on a non-genital body part or parts, manifested as fantasies or behaviors over a period of at least 6 months. is included in the literature.
In summary, an object with which sexual stimulation is paired obsessively and which is not a means of sexuality in itself is called a fetish. Fetishism, on the other hand, is the state in which fetish pursuits or objects dominate sexual life to the extent that it prevents normal life and a healthy and satisfying sexual life. Fetishism experienced at this level is included in the class of sexual adjustment disorders defined as paraphilia in psychiatry.
WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF FETISHISM?
2. What are the types of sexual fetishism? Can you explain these?
We can talk about any object imaginable as a fetish object. These objects are directly or indirectly connected to the human body. The fetish object acquires an erotic meaning on its own, independent of the desired person. These objects can be used not only during sexual intercourse but also during masturbation. If we look at the types of fetishes; foot fetishism, shoes, hand, socks, race, underwear, fur, belly fetishism, fat fetishism, uniform, old woman, tickling, robot, hair, leather and balloon fetishism It can be said as. Moreover breast (small-large), ear, hair and special hair colors (red), freckles, hands, nape, nose A part of the body can also be a fetish object.
In each type of fetishism, arousal or orgasm cannot be achieved without the fetish object, and the fetish object is preferred to normal sexual life.
The objects collected by fetishists are linked to the sexual tendencies hidden within them. A person who enjoys whips or knives and collects them unconsciously “sadist” it could be. Likewise, people who have a tendency to wear high-heeled shoes or tight corsets also have a hidden secret. “masochism” available.
WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON FETISHES?
3. What are the most popular, common fetishes?
The most common type of fetish is shoe and foot fetish. The most well-known of this group are high-heeled shoes. Clothes and underwear come in second place. In the second group, stockings, garters, bright tights and tight clothing can also be considered the most common. Clothing with tiger or leopard patterns, clothing made of nylon, latex and leather, various uniforms, colorful underwear and nightgowns are popular fetish objects.
4. How does fetishism add color to sexual life?
All normal people are actually fetishists to some degree or another. Here it is necessary to consider the situation from two different perspectives. Although a group of people continue their sexual lives, they cannot experience arousal or orgasm without their fetishes. Another group of people see fetish objects only as elements of color and excitement in their sexual lives, and they can experience orgasm without them. For the second group, we can say that being a fetishist, to a certain extent, helps them get more pleasure from sexual intercourse. Vagina-penis union is pleasurable, yes, but it is not everything in sexual intercourse. We know that including love games in the beautiful art of lovemaking makes the relationship more satisfying and increases the pleasure.
IS FETISHISM NORMAL? IS IT NATURAL? IS IT A PERVERSE?
5. Is fetishism a sexual perversion? Is it completely natural? What are its limits?
Fetish emerges as a “perversion” only when it takes control of normal sexual intercourse, when it turns from a desire into a need, and when erection cannot occur without the fetish object.
For example; A man who masturbates using a woman’s stocking as a fetish object and prefers it to normal intercourse can be said to be perverted, or a man who makes his partner wear a uniform and believes, dreams and is addicted to the uniform that gives pleasure in sexual intercourse, and cannot achieve an erection without the uniform. It can be said that he is perverted.
In addition to all these, a person who occasionally asks his partner to wear things such as socks, gloves, uniform, etc., and uses this only as a tool to increase pleasure cannot be said to be perverted.
Based on this, we see that while fetishism can be used to make sexual life more colorful, it can also appear as a perversion. The most important boundary that separates the two is that in healthy situations, the fetish object is a desire, while in perverted situations it becomes a need.
6. At what point do or do fetishes require treatment?
It is really difficult to say to what extent a physician or mental health professional can help a fetishist. In cases where fetishism is experienced as perversion, the person may need to get support. It would be more accurate to define this support as adaptation to a healthy sexual life rather than treatment.
In severe cases of fetishism disorder, after a psychiatrist’s evaluation, medication may be used to control the urges. On the other hand, sexual therapy support including group therapies, behavioral and psychodynamic therapy techniques can be obtained from mental health professionals. For people with a partner, starting a couple’s therapy would be the right step. However, it should not be forgotten that it is difficult to get people who are satisfied with their perversion into sexual therapy. Because in their world, normal sexual pleasure is interpreted as something that does not give pleasure.
The course of the process depends, above all, on the client’s determination to receive treatment or adapt. So, at this point, intrinsic motivation is needed, not extrinsic motivation. In addition to a person’s own dissatisfaction, the opinions of his partner and people close to him can also be effective in increasing internal motivation.
AM I A FETISHIST? HOW DOES A PERSON UNDERSTAND THIS?
7. How does fetishism develop? How does one notice?
A real fetish is generally an object or situation that, incidentally, had a great and magical effect on a person’s childhood and into which a very strong spiritual energy (cathexis) was invested.
The emergence of fetishism can be explained by learning and experience of pairing some objects as sexual stimulants since childhood. Fetishism is often “a childhood experience that creates a kind of conditioned reflex” and the continuation of this experience in adult sexual life. To summarize the reasons: They can be listed as unresolved Oedipus complex, perverted sexual excitement model, fear of sexual impotence, need for security, fear of vagina and penetration into the vagina, need to separate mother and partner, need to repair self-integrity and behaviors that occur as a result of coincidences.
A person may notice this as he gradually shifts his sexual interest from his partner to what his partner is wearing or a part of his partner. Over time, he may even give up sexual intercourse completely. This situation will manifest itself more often by causing marriage and relationship problems or various sexual problems.
8. Is there a connection between people’s characteristics and their fetishism? I come across such questions on the internet, for example, “I am a very fragile looking woman, but I like to be treated harshly, slapped, etc. I can come across questions on the internet such as “Is it because I look so fragile?” Do you think there is a triggering relationship between people’s characteristics and fetishes?
Fetishism is a childhood experience that creates a kind of conditioned reflex. For this reason, many factors that the individual has experienced since childhood, such as the moment of witnessing the first sexual intercourse, the object he saw when he witnessed the first sexual intercourse, the first masturbation, the first erotic pleasure, the first sexual contact, and sexual fantasy stories, are factors in the emergence of fetishism in adult sexual life. .
When we look at the family stories of fetishist individuals, limited parental love, neglect and social isolation emerge. Fetishists are individuals who have intimacy problems and feel lonely. Since these factors directly affect the personality structure of the individual, it is possible to establish a connection with the personality structure, but it would not be correct to establish a connection between appearance and fetishism. It can also be said that fetishism is a very special defense mechanism developed in men against the threat of castration.
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