It’s less than 30 minutes before Easter arrives on the East Coast. Saturday night liveDonald Trump (James Austin Johnson) opens the episode by interrupting The Last Supper to take a page from Marjorie Taylor Greene’s playbook – and okay, hers have– listing the many ways he and Jesus Christ could practically be twins.
“A famous, wonderful man was arrested for no reason,” she said. “If you haven’t put it together guys, I’m comparing myself to Jesus again. And what could be better than a birthday, Easter?
Of course, Johnson’s Trump has made it clear that Jesus is much harder than it has ever been – crucifixion be damned. But he certainly understands why “many” (read Marjorie Taylor Greene) point to the similarities between Trump and Jesus Christ. Still, the ex-president has his own ideas. “We’re both very tall, very popular, and frankly, we’re both white Americans,” he explained. Nor is “Trump” afraid to admit that there are some definite differences between him and Almighty God.
“He rose from the dead on the third day,” he said. “I would have done it faster – probably two. Probably two days. I think we could have done it much faster.”
Like Trump, Jesus had a keen sense of business – “water in wine – pure profit,” he said, and “big, big rallies just like me.”
“And many of his followers got into big, big trouble, just like mine. All because I told them exactly what Jesus would say: Be very violent and start a war,” he said.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a real Trump speech – or even a mockery – without mentioning Ron DeSantis, former POTUS foe/pudding aficionado, whom Johnson Trump describes as his own personal Judas. “And now he can’t even get gay people out of Disney World,” he said. “Something terrible.”
Ultimately, however, he argued that Jesus could have been a better man than he was. “Because I’m a self-made billionaire, and Jesus – let’s call him – was a Nepo Baby. I mean, his father was God. It’s pretty easy to start a religion when your father is God.” This is something the real Trump and his own children can certainly relate to.
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