Although the question of whether jealousy has disappeared when such relationships are established, psychologist Mahmut Şefik Nil said, “There is jealousy now, but this is a bit of a sociological issue. Actually
What is desired at the beginning of a relationship is to stay focused on one person, but because of the setbacks, the man or woman understands that this will not work. When this happens, he starts making generalizations such as ‘There is no long relationship,’ or ‘There is no right person’. But there are also romantic feelings and endless demands for relationships. This contradiction can also inflict deep wounds on people.” Why can middle age loneliness happen? With the economic liberation of women in modern societies, loneliness also begins. Because a woman wants to pursue a career, she can postpone marriage or having children for this reason. But when you focus on making a career, time passes.
cannot understand and ask, “What am I doing?” When you ask the question, it may be too late. She has to meet many people to find the right man she is looking for. one night stands
is starting to increase. When the process called middle-age loneliness is entered, the feeling of trust begins to decrease gradually. Psychologist Mahmut Şefik Nil says, “Today, with loneliness, people trust each other less. So they become more defensive and don’t open up fully. Individual protection shields come into play in bilateral relations as well.”
Unrelatedness creates fear
Today, people act more individually. People’s biggest fear is indifference. “Why can’t I maintain a relationship, why do I always feel used?” The question is very common. Mahmut Şefik Nil said, “Sex is not only a mechanical way of ejaculation for people, it is also a way of relating. You feel the person in front of you in sexual intercourse.
Even if it’s a one-night stand, expectations begin. When these expectations are not fulfilled, disappointment occurs. Since disappointment is also an experience, it also influences the approach to the next relationship. Because after the experience, the man or woman feels used. It is not fully satisfied and something is missing. He wants to go to someone else to complete it,” she says.
Sometimes a few hours to spend well, sometimes a feeling of loneliness that will be forgotten even for a short time, and sometimes only for sexual satisfaction.
Unfortunately, the end of a woman is often frustration, insecurity and depression. What remains is a broken heart, despair and not believing in eternal love!
Article: Nilgün Yıldız/Formsante
James Hollis says in his book ‘In the Shadow of Saturn’; “For humans, sexuality is no longer the mechanism of rediscovering each other and has become something they live through at night.” Although it may seem hard to believe in this view, it is inevitable not to notice that the relationships are different when you look around. Especially in the bilateral relations between men and women, the view of sexuality gained a very different dimension. Previously, a woman and a man wait for at least a while to be sexually together, like each other, and
Then he went to bed. Now the waiting time is gone. When this was the case, sexuality began to be experienced differently in every aspect. perspective on sexuality
When they differed, the behavior of the couples towards each other also changed. For example, while women could not bear to see the man they love with someone, now they can share the man they are with with other women, whether it’s the fear of loneliness, love or despair. If the man she wants to be with just belongs to him and does not want to compromise her freedom, she accepts him as she is and tries to console herself with the crumbs of the short moments given to her. So, don’t these kinds of sharing relationships, which are increasing today, bring problems with it? Psychologist Mahmut Şefik Nil says that a woman who has to share her man cannot actually be very happy. “Women are probably injured as they learn the process of sharing the man they are with. Because this is not easy. Man, by nature, hardly shares anything that belongs to him. When you look at this situation,
It is very difficult for a woman or a man to share a lover or spouse.”
What does it cause?
A woman’s self-confidence is shaken and it can create feelings such as “I am bad, I am unwanted” or “I am ugly”. This injury is called a narcissistic injury. She can also do a lot of referral to herself to fix it. Like “He didn’t appreciate me, I’m good but he’s bad”. In order not to make the same mistake in her next relationship, she may have thoughts like “This is what happens if I meet at this place, or it will happen again if I go there”. For this reason, she can do the opposite of what she did in her next relationship. But in any case, relationship experiences are engraved in one’s memory and change the person. For people who do not have a relationship for a long time, this can be a cause of depression. Because being touched is a way of feeling outside. It’s not just sleeping with someone, it’s a necessity of existence. When you project yourself outward, if there is no return, you begin to feel that you do not exist. Unfortunately, we cannot be Robinson Crusoe and when we are alone, very deep wounds can be opened.
What to do?
To avoid disappointments, it is necessary to continue the search until you are satisfied. You can also focus on being happy with social activities and charity work.