At age 15, Madison Beer felt “powerless” and struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder after several of her nude videos were leaked online.
“I was very disturbed by this and very scared. “I felt very insecure and as if scared,” the “Melodies” singer recalled on Wednesday’s podcast “Call Your Dad.”
“There were so many layers to how peeling an onion made me feel… no one said it was wrong.”
Beer, now 24, explained to presenter Alex Cooper that he “vividly” remembered sending him an NSFW video that a friend had sent to the boy he was seeing at the time, and then another friend sending him a second clip. day.
“I knew in my bones that this would hit the internet the moment I was texted, and unfortunately I couldn’t escape this reality,” he continued.
The former YouTuber was at dance rehearsals when he saw one of his videos on Twitter without even realizing it.
“I was just looking and I thought I fell to the ground and was like, ‘Oh my God, what am I going to do?’ I remember what I said,” he recalled. “I reached out to the person who posted this and begged him to delete it and they blocked me, they blocked me immediately.”
Beer eventually saw the video spread to “every social media platform”, including Vine, one of the most popular apps at the time.
“Maybe some people or men who haven’t experienced it don’t understand how traumatic something like this can be, especially for a minor,” she shared.
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The New York native compared the situation to an infamous 2010 video of Miley Cyrus smoking a hookah, but noted that hers was worse.
“For a long time it was very, very difficult and I felt like the whole world had seen the video, and this is also the beginning of having real triggerable PTSD from the condition,” he explained.
The “selfish” singer admitted that she chose not to file a lawsuit against the boy she sent the videos to “despite betraying”. [her] does not think it is “bad” or “malicious”.
Beer said she experienced “endless sexualization” at a young age and is exploring this in more detail in her forthcoming memoir, “The Half of It.”
“I knew it was inappropriate at the time,” he said on the podcast, “but I wasn’t as shocked and disgusted as I am now.”