Ghost A big-budget, star-studded action-romance premieres on Apple TV+ on April 21, but a better place would be in a dark closet on a high shelf where no one can find it.
Without a single credible element or trade-off, this fiasco plays like a wannabe.knight and day An exercise in evoking disturbing responses: groans for their gruesome one-line lines, exclamations for silly plot twists, and eye rolls for gruesome CGI and desperate cameos. It feels like ChatGPT wrote it, and the fact that it didn’t is even worse for those who wrote it.
The responsible clerks in question will be the duos behind the case. deadpool movies (Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick) and Marvel’s latest Spider Man trilogy (Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers) that didn’t bring to this derivative venture the wit and charm of its predecessors.
Managed with maximum cumbersomeness Rocket ManFrom Dexter Fletcher, Ghost It is about the bleak adventure of two characters who are completely unreal and share zero chemistry. Chris Evans stars as Cole, a farmer who works for his parents (Tate Donovan and Amy Sedaris, who must have had him when he was quite young) and spends his time messing with customers at the local farmer’s market.
Evans couldn’t have been less convincing as an agronomist if he tried; His styled hair, neatly trimmed beard, and buff physique scream “attorney” (unless he’s a “candidate”). Ana de Armas is irrationally paired by Ana de Armas as Sadie, a single woman who wears a variety of stylish outfits and claims to be an art curator (who unconvincingly states that her favorite painter is Monet), which seems just as authentic as she is. flowing wig.
Cole and Sadie’s cute rendezvous involves bitter banter about Sadie’s inability to care for a houseplant (because she’s always away for work), thus spawning a short piece about a cactus that is emblematic of the humorlessness of judgment. Rarely, two attractive stars together produce less spark, partially because Ghost‘ script stays flat on every line of dialogue.
Ghost
Ana de Armas and Chris Evans on ‘Ghosted’
Frank Masi/Apple TV+
When Cole’s friend encourages him to go after Sadie because “the sexual thriller was off the charts,” it seems as if the film is actively fueling its audience, while subsequent conversations resort to the harshest explanations imaginable. “I think the trips you plan the least are the ones that add the most to you,” Cole says at the end of the couple’s first all-day date—one of countless theme-seller statements that inspires the gag urge.
Cole cares for people and is too cowardly to leave home, while Sadie is a world travel loner who fears commitment. After their “magical” first date, she becomes worried and frustrated when countless texts (and “light emoji stuff” that she learns count as additional text) go unanswered.
In response to his cold treatment, Cole makes the extravagant decision to go to London to surprise Sadie (“a big romantic gesture”). There, he is kidnapped and taken hostage by a group of villains led by Tim Blake Nelson, who has a thick Russian accent, who thinks he is a super-agent known as The Taxman and plans to torture him with exotic insects. coveted password. But before any of that happens, Cole is rescued by the real Taxman, who – “spoiler alert” – is Sadie. To be fair, de Armas is more reliable as a spy than an art curator. The resulting action, however, is of a third-rate nature, clumsily balancing brutality and comedy, and adorned with computer-generated effects that get more stylish with each successive app.
Sadie and Cole argue nonstop Ghost about how he lied to her and he is a sticky complication for his mission, and the horrificness of his back and forth movements is so enormous that it’s borderline impressive. The film’s lack of imagination is summed up by the three separate supporting characters who respond to Sadie and Cole’s argumentativeness by mocking, “You two need a room.” Yet somehow, this isn’t even the worst.
Adrien Brody plays a French villain named Leveque who talks like a cartoon (“We can’t. This device should be a simple MacGuffin (i.e. a generic plot device designed to keep things moving). Yet Reese, Wernick, McKenna, and Sommers’ script instead spends an excessive amount of time talking about its ins and outs, burying any impetus or laughter under mountains of pointless nonsense.
During their journey, Sadie and Cole fight villains on a bus, encountering a foreign agent with a mechanical hand (one of Sadie’s exes) because Ghost He wants to play a masturbation prank and tackle assassins embodied by famous faces in their short wink appearances. There is endless chatter about what needs to be done, where everyone should go, and why Aztec is so important, but it all sounds like white noise emitted by actors trying hard to turn something subpar into something in a short time. pleasant.
What’s more surprising is that the characters repeatedly mistake Cole as a Taxman, because de Armas is a woman and yet the movie doesn’t even try to do anything with this sexist point of view; -man!” Cole proudly said, “I’m her boyfriend!”
Ghost it’s the kind of lead relationship that played The Beatles’ “Taxman” in his last fight (because, you see, that’s Armas’ nickname!). Set in the revolving restaurant of a tall building, the climax is a monument to rushed and rambunctious CGI alongside straight action choreography that is neither exciting nor funny. Both Evans and Armas are completely wrong for this material and their better and more tense performances manage to make things worse. Only Brody is now in the full-blown treachery phase (later Poker face, See How They Work, And Peaky Blinders), seems to understand what’s required here, but ultimately an uninspired scenario underscores it too.
“What are we? Tools. Expendable. We deserve better.” The same can be said about actors and especially those found in this gloomy man.
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