Writing: Besray Koker
Aaah! It hurts, please let’s not continue! Does this sentence sound familiar to you? Do you define sexual intercourse as a process in which you experience pain rather than pleasure most of the time? Was it like this from day one, or did it become painful later on? Don’t worry, you’re definitely not alone in this! Academic studies reveal that 30 out of every 100 women experience pain during sexual intercourse. And there can be not one but multiple reasons for pain during sex. Remember, pain and suffering are signs that something is not right in your body. Therefore, it would be beneficial for you to pay attention to this situation you are experiencing and investigate its causes, because the pain experienced during sex does not only ruin that moment. Over time, sexual fear can cause you to experience a decrease in sexual desire and a loss of intimacy between you and your partner. Üsküdar University NPİSTANBUL Brain Hospital Psychiatrist Asst. Assoc. Dr. We asked Sinem Zeynep Metin.
There are many adjectives with which we can describe sexuality: pleasurable, fun, exciting or titillating… So when does sex become painful and painful rather than pleasurable?
Sexuality becomes painful when it is experienced without the person’s consent, when there is not enough stimulation, that is, foreplay, when there is a disease that physically affects the sexual organs (for example, sexually transmitted diseases, circulatory disorders that may prevent erection) or a physiological condition (such as menopause). can come.
You said that short or no foreplay and moving directly to sexual intercourse causes a painful intercourse. Can you talk about the psychological effects this has on women?
If foreplay is short or absent, it directly leads to painful intercourse as the vagina cannot be lubricated. In general, we recommend that especially people who are new to sexuality engage in foreplay for at least 15-20 minutes. A woman who experiences sexuality as painful cannot enjoy it and cannot experience sexuality satisfactorily. In this case, after a while, not wanting to be together, avoiding sexuality and being reluctant to have sex begin.
Couldn’t a painful sexual intercourse be due to wrong positions or the size of the sexual organs?
The cause of a painful sexual intercourse cannot be the wrong position. However, some positions increase sexual stimulation and indirectly prevent pain. There is no relationship between pain and the size of the sexual organs.
Is it necessary to define where the pain and suffering is located? How important is which region for diagnosis and treatment?
Of course, it is important to understand where the pain is and why it originates. However, it should not be forgotten that the upper 2/3 part, where the vagina connects to the uterus, is like our internal organs. Therefore, the pain there is not felt.
Can pain and suffering be seen later in a woman who is happy and problem-free during sexual intercourse? What could be the reasons for this?
Postpartum hormonal changes, sexually transmitted diseases, some general medical or psychiatric conditions may make arousal difficult, and sexual trauma may also be the cause of this situation.
Should we care about vaginal structure? Can it cause pain and suffering?
There is no relationship between the causes of pain and pain and the structure of the vagina. The vagina is an organ that can extend up to 10-15 cm with stimulation, has an elastic structure (it is not possible to tear), the first 1/3 of which can be felt, and the rest is considered an internal organ. It adapts to the shape and size of the structure it enters. It should not be forgotten that it is wide enough for the baby’s head to come out. At the entrance, there is a skin structure called “hymen”, also known as the hymen. In most women, the middle of this structure is empty. It is surrounded by skin protrusions like the edges of our nails. Rarely, the middle of the hymen is completely closed or absent at all.
What could be the other factors that cause pain and suffering other than psychological ones such as vaginismus, dyspareunia, vulvodynia?
Autoimmune diseases that also have some systemic symptoms, such as menopause, pregnancy, childbirth, sexually transmitted diseases, Behçet’s disease… Different treatments must be applied depending on the underlying diagnosis.
What should a man’s reaction be to a woman who experiences pain during sexual intercourse? Will continuing sexual intercourse and trying to relax the body end the pain and ache after a certain point?
In this case, it is important whether people want to continue sexual intercourse or intercourse. If partners want to continue sexual intercourse, increasing sexual stimulation may reduce pain. Sexuality should not be seen as just sexual intercourse. Without sufficient stimulation, it is not possible for either the woman or the man to experience pleasure.
How much can relaxation and body stretching sports such as yoga and pilates help reduce pain?
Stretching techniques and Kegel exercises can of course be used as support in sexual therapy. It should not be forgotten that it will not be enough on its own.
Are periods of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding or menopause also critical? What causes aches and pains? Can precautions be taken beforehand?
Sexual life during these periods can become positive and satisfying with simple precautions.
We always talked about women; Do men feel pain or pain during sexual intercourse? Testicular pain, pain caused by friction or infection…
Of course he feels it! These reasons apply to both women and men. Sexuality should be experienced with reciprocal desire and desire, after sufficient stimulation is provided, and by taking precautions regarding sexual health.
Not without foreplay!
Foreplay is the basis of a good sexual intercourse. It is of great importance not to rush foreplay. Before having sexual intercourse, most women especially need 20 minutes of foreplay to get ready. However, especially in men with premature ejaculation problems, they try to prevent the feeling of arousal by skipping foreplay, as a little stimulation brings them closer to ejaculation. Lubricants are also mostly used in these situations. What needs to be known here is that lubricants only facilitate entry. In this hasty solution, the shape or depth of the vagina does not change. However, when the woman is ready for intercourse – when she lifts the uterus and expands the vagina – that is, when she is fully aroused, her vagina can stretch from 10 cm to 18 cm. Naturally, a woman needs to make love with her partner for a certain period of time in order to become sexually excited and wet. In cases where this is insufficient or non-existent and direct sexual intercourse is initiated, a painful and painful intercourse is inevitable. If the situation continues like this with each intercourse, it can lead to relationship problems as well as sexual problems.
Care about relaxation!
You have thousands of things to think about and hundreds of things to do during the day, and all the stress of the day carries to bed every night, without exception. You don’t even realize it. However, relaxing the body and mind is an important part of focusing on sexual intercourse and feeling ready for intercourse. How about massaging each other to get into bed relieved of stress? You should especially try coconut oil and lemongrass oil. “Massage is not my thing!” If so, you can prepare yourself for a problem-free sex by relaxing your mind and body with a few yoga classes, breathing, meditation or awareness exercises. Of course, all our suggestions are given as solutions to support the treatment of the disease.
*Taken from Formsante magazine.