HOW MUCH ARE YOUR SHARES?
In marriages, spouses, especially those who have children, may become attached to their roles as parents and lack other roles. However, when there is no love, warmth and emotionality between spouses, this relationship does not bring happiness to the children. Of course, spouses who have children may remain homebound for the first few years due to the physical care of the child, cannot spare time for each other, and experience fatigue. Some mothers may not be able to break the umbilical cord with their child. However, the relationship between parents sets an example for the relationships the child will establish in the future and the marriage he will enter into.
If you notice that your posts have decreased when you examine your relationship, you can immediately start making efforts in this regard. Because the investment you make in your relationship as husband and wife ensures that you create a warm environment where love is experienced at home and that your children grow up self-confident and happy.
HOW MUCH IS YOUR CRISIS MANAGEMENT POWER?
Since people do not have the same desires and needs at the same time, conflicts can occur in every relationship. Having no arguments does not indicate that a relationship is healthy, but rather a lack of communication. Many events in life such as losses, bankruptcies, and deceptions can cause conflicts to increase. The important thing is to manage these moments of crisis correctly… At this stage, communication and conflict resolution skills come into play. Although it is thought that conflicts always arise from differences, these differences can turn into an advantage in crisis situations. What one side cannot see, the other sees, or when one falls, the other can pick it up.
The important thing is to be ‘us’ in moments of crisis that can happen to anyone in life… Expert Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy said, “In such situations, I always tell my clients this; You are two people walking together on the same path. You have come across an obstacle, you should think about how we can overcome this obstacle together. “You should be able to look at the problem from a bird’s eye view together, without excluding each other,” he says. WHAT ARE YOUR COMMUNICATION VALUES?
It is possible to talk about healthy communication when both parties can recognize their own emotions and express them correctly. Expert Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy underlines that there are no unsolvable problems in relationships and adds: “There is no such thing as compromise on every issue in the relationship. “Some problems may not be solved, but the important thing is to be able to talk about them and reach an agreement on which issues are not understood,” he says. The ‘I language’ should be used in communication, the person should know the limits of his/her own self and accept the other party with their different characteristics from themselves. It is important that the dialogue established is conciliatory, not imposing.
When the parties in the relationship cannot communicate healthily, either the same issues come up again and again and become a reason for discussion, or the issues are covered up and the spouses become distant from each other, and the relationship becomes weaker and weaker. For this reason, it is necessary to find a middle ground between these two situations when it comes to disagreements and, if not possible, to get support from an expert. Because an uneasy marriage environment disrupts the physical and mental health of not only the spouses, but also the children living in that house.
TRUST & LOYALTY ARE IMPORTANT
The meaning of cheating can vary from person to person and from relationship to relationship. For some, corresponding online with someone of the opposite sex is considered cheating, while others prefer to maintain marriages called ‘open marriages’ in which the parties have free relationships. Expert Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy says, “The important thing is that there is no perceived break in the bond in the relationship,” and adds: “Spouses may spend time apart from each other, but in this process, they know that there is no deficiency in the relationship and things that each other cannot accept do not happen. “It is necessary to ensure the bond of love, respect and trust during the times spent apart.” Stating that in some cases, spouses may have conflicts about the limits of cheating, Demirsoy said, “While one party does not accept talking on the phone with their ex-flirt as cheating, the other may react to this. The important thing is that there is no privacy. “If there is a behavior and confidentiality that the other party does not accept, it can be considered deception,” he says.
If there is a problem with trust in your relationship, this indicates that there are also problems with communication. Partners need to compromise on what is acceptable in the relationship.
SEXUALITY AFFECTS MARRIAGE
In order for sexual life to be satisfying, an agreement must be reached between the spouses about what will be experienced in this private area, what is repulsive and what is acceptable. If the bond of love, respect and trust between spouses is strong, it can be easier to overcome problems arising from sexuality, and spouses can get to know each other and adapt over time. “Men are always ready for sexuality. Untrue social myths such as “Women give more importance to expressing their emotions and puts sexuality in the background” play a role in shaping personalities and preferences. Expert Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy said, “Women and men both have the biological equipment necessary for sexual life, but women are conditioned to express their feelings and establish emotional relationships due to the social roles imposed by society.” “It affects it negatively,” he says.
In order to understand whether sexuality is healthy in your relationship, it is recommended that you pay attention not to the number of sexual intercourses, but to the behaviors that both parties prefer and enjoy, and whether the relationship is satisfying for both parties. On the other hand, for a satisfying sexual life, you need to communicate and set your own limits.
The fact that it is healthier to take precautions and protect yourself from the disease instead of taking medicine after being sick also applies to your relationship… By evaluating the topics in this article, you can have your relationship checked for health, so you can take your precautions early!
Article: Yaprak ÇETİNKAYA
You participate in check-up programs to live a healthier life; Your blood count is done, your organ functions are tested, your cholesterol is measured, you undergo urine analysis as well as various imaging devices. So, as your relationship starts to progress, how much importance do you give to it? Have you given your relationship the nutrition it needs, especially after marriage? Is there anything wrong, what do the symptoms indicate, what kind of treatment do you need in which case? We recommend that you check-up your relationship to find the answers to these questions. We asked Expert Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy from Memory Center Neuropsychiatry Center about the building blocks you should focus on for a relationship check-up. Now is the time for analysis and diagnosis…
IS YOUR LOVE TANK FULL?
Love is a word that creates good feelings in everyone who hears it. However, the meaning of love is different for everyone and the ways to show love vary from person to person. Depending on this fact, people’s expectations from the other party also differ, and this difference sometimes causes problems. Sentences such as “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do this” probably don’t sound very foreign to you… If there is a conflict in your relationship, the parties can take refuge in their own definitions of love and develop resistance against the other party’s expectations, and sentences like “I am like this, accept me like this” can be used. Feelings such as anger, sadness and disappointment when expectations about love are not met are sometimes conveyed using wrong expressions. And most importantly, if some problems in the relationship cannot be solved, love is used, if any, and over time, love tanks begin to be emptied.
If you experience differences in the definition and expression of love in your relationship and this difference causes arguments, the solution lies in communication, which is another important building block of the relationship.
WHAT IS YOUR RESPECT LEVEL?
Respect in a relationship means accepting the other party’s boundaries. Expert Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy says; “It is important to be us, but when we say let’s be us, it is also necessary to accept that the other person is a different individual, may think differently, and have different desires in areas where selves touch each other. “In a healthy relationship, it is important to meet the personality needs of both people.”
If one party’s wishes are always fulfilled in the relationship, it can be said that the other person is frustrated and unhappy. However, human beings bond with love to those who understand and meet their needs. If you are aware that there is a problem in your relationship in this sense, you may think that there is a problem in the bond of love rather than respect.