Of course, there are valid reasons for divorce, such as infidelity, physical and emotional violence, addiction issues, financial irresponsibility, or lack of intimacy. But many marriage experts and therapists believe that most people jump on the divorce trend too quickly; To some, it even seems fashionable. Some people want a divorce because of problems that can be resolved if both spouses are willing to work on the problems.
However, in the long run, this may not turn out the way you think. So before you sign your papers, look at the other side of the coin. This article explores the reasons for not divorcing.
6 REASONS NOT TO GET DIVORCE
1. Emotional grief
For most people, divorce feels like the loss of a loved one or the death of a family member. Imagine that you have known this person for years and shared special moments with them, and now you have to break off this relationship. You will feel like a part of you has died.
2. It affects your children
Many divorce advocates advise parents, especially women, not to stay in an ending relationship because of their children. And yes, never put yourself or your children in danger because you think it will appease an abusive partner or spare your children the pain of divorce. But consider how divorce will affect your children, especially if you can resolve your issues. Many children blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, and it has lasting emotional, physical and psychological effects on their lives. It hurts even more when you start competing for custody or constantly trying to undermine each other around your children.
3. Trouble making ends meet
Many people face difficult financial realities after divorce. A healthy relationship involves two people working as a team to overcome obstacles in life. Pooling your resources is one way to do this, and long-term partners are relatively financially stable. But when you divorce, your shared financial goal is shattered and you have to work towards a new goal. Divorce also includes litigation costs, alimony, division of your property, etc. It also brings with it various costs such as:
4. Loss of trust and identity
Unfortunately, the happiness and freedom that some “experts” promise to those seeking a divorce rarely come. Divorce can make you question and second guess every choice, and from the statistics above we can see that second marriages are more complicated. You may also begin to question how attractive you are, which is why many divorcees begin serial dating immediately after separation, rather than taking a break and honestly assessing their situation. Another problem is loss of identity. Spending a lot of time together creates this hybrid identity with your partner, but when you divorce you must find a new identity. Who do you become and how do you shape your new identity among your peers?
5. Loss of friends and family
Most people make new friendships after getting married. Even if you maintain your previous friendships, the dynamics will change after marriage. You also create new relationships for you and your family by joining a new family.
Unfortunately, divorce will destroy this new family because your in-laws will have to choose sides, and they will usually choose their own relatives. You may also lose friends who don’t want to be involved with a divorced person because they think you might ruin their relationship too, or maybe you’re reminding them that their relationship could end at any time.
6. Painful divorce processes
It’s easy to assume that you’re rational and would never do what other divorcees do when they rip each other apart in court. But most people throw logic out the window once the trial begins, and the problems get worse when you have to fight for custody of your children. Such fights turn into bitter situations where parents have to drag their partner’s name through the mud and use each other’s secrets against each other. You can become angry and do anything to gain the upper hand.